Art and fear

Thoughts on art block, self-criticism, and the reality of creating courses online.

The favorite part of my day right now is when I get to take my first cup of coffee and go out on the patio to get some morning light. (Well, as light as it gets this time of year in Sweden.)

Look! Snow! I managed to photograph it before it melted away.

There's a squirrel that's started appearing around our house, eating seeds from a tree in our backyard. I've rarely seen squirrels around here before so suddenly having one as a neighbor makes me very happy. She doesn't seem to mind me at all, just continues her acrobatics and seed munching. Reminds me of this painting I made for my brother a few years ago. 😌

Watercolor squirrel from 2020.

It's starting to feel like winter, and I'm looking forward to the dark and peaceful days of December. I even long for some shoveling. Let the snow come! Let it pile up in huge heaps, and spread out like a thick blanket over everything. I'm ready! (But wait until we've had our tires changed first please...)

I'm finally (mostly) pain free for the first time in 2 1/2 months. Finally sleeping well again. Can relax on the couch with a book, play video games and board games without having pain. And I'm painting again!

Barn owl work in progress. To be watercolored tomorrow...

Thank you for replying to my little poll last week. It was a surprisingly even scattering of replies:

Although I'm happy that option B got the least votes, it still makes me sad that any of you feel that self-critical. I would like to address that in an upcoming video, and for that, I need your help. Would you mind dropping me a comment, finishing this sentence:

"I don't feel like making art, because I fear that..."

Or you can formulate it however you want and describe what you think is holding you back from creating. It would help me target the most common reasons we get self-critical and experience art block.

I'll go first:

I don't feel like making art, because I fear that I'll waste expensive art supplies.

I don't feel like making art, because I fear that I'll have a bad art day and end up in a shitty mood.

I don't feel like making art, because I fear that I'll delude myself into thinking I'm good when I'm actually not.

I don't feel like making art, because I fear that it'll just be a waste of time.

Those are a few examples of what might run through my head on my darkest days. Thankfully, I know how to handle those thoughts when they do pop up. I'll share more about that in the upcoming video. But the first step is to know this:

Thoughts are just thoughts, they're not truths.

Thoughts are simply statements that appear in your head, for a variety of reasons. There are helpful thoughts and unhelpful thoughts. Most of the negative thoughts we have about ourselves are simply unhelpful, unproductive, unnecessary. Doesn’t matter if they’re “true” or not. Are they helpful or unhelpful? Do you enjoy having them? Do they make you a better person?

We spend way too much time blindly believing our own throughts, giving them weight, letting them decide over our lives. But we don’t have to be imprisoned by, or limited by our thoughts. We don't need to have our days ruined by them. I know it's much harder in practice, but the next time you think something depressing about yourself or your art, try just stopping for a second and say to yourself: "That might or might not be true. Who knows. Who cares."

There’s a difference between having a thought and believeing in it. You can have a negative, fearful thought and simply ignore it. It takes practice, but it’s possible. It’s how I learned how to drive a car, despite being CONVINCED that I would get myself and other people killed. And it’s how I overcome my fear of the blank page, my fear of putting out videos, my fear of being seen, criticized, unliked, et.c.

Again, more on this in an upcoming video. 😊

This week's video is all about Skillshare, and about the difficulties of being a full-time content creator. I've mentioned it a few times now, but I've decided to move away from Skillshare and start selling my courses via my own website. Here, I talk about why. It's not just about the recent changes Skillshare made to their payment model, resulting in all of us teachers getting a 60-80% pay cut. It's about more than that, and I'm trying to give a nuanced opinion on this, and also give some important advice to other teachers and course creators.

This doesn't mean I'm removing my courses from Skillshare, or that I'll never publish anything there again. It also doesn't mean I don't think Skillshare can be a good decision for someone else. I don't think Skillshare is the devil. But I'm not going to lie, I'm growing increasingly... disapproving of their ways. 🙄

If you've been thinking about becoming a Skillshare teacher, (or if you're just curious what my earnings and results have been this year), this video is for you.

Here I would also like to add in a big THANK YOU to all of you who have purchased my courses directly from me these past weeks. It means so much to me, you have no idea. You are the reason I've regained my inspiration to create more and better courses, and feel confident in doing so independently, outside of Skillshare. I love you, and I hope you've enjoyed the course. If you have feedback for me, don't hesitate to let me know. I want to become a better teacher and course creator. 🙏🏻

With that, let’s both enjoy our weekends. Looking forward to talking again next Friday. 🖤

With love,

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New video: Is teaching on Skillshare worth it anymore? (Important message to teachers)

New course: Portrait Drawing for Beginners

My portrait drawing class is now available as a standalone course. This will be the final week with the initial price of $29. Next Friday, it will go up to $35.

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Reading:

I was interviewed by author and fellow Substacker Simon K Jones this week! We talked about everything from social media and writing, to my journey towards becoming a full-time artist. Read the interview here:

Interview with Louise Stigell

Bookwise, I'm loving The Final Empire by Brandon Sanderson. Am halfway through the book now and really hooked on the story and invested in the characters. This is one of my favorite feelings in the whole world: Getting absorbed in a fictional world and knowing that there's so much more where that came from. Sanderson is one of the most prolific fantasy authors in the world, and so there's PLENTY more to read after this one. Apart from the remaining two books in the trilogy. Bliss. 😌

Watching:

My YouTube watch history consists of 80% physical therapy stuff and 20% embarrassing junk the algorithm has pushed in my face. So I don't really have anything for you there. 😅

But. Season 5 of The Crown is finally here. We've only watched one episode so far, but oh how I've missed this series. And we are now on season 4 of our third re-watch of Breaking Bad. So there's that.

Listening:

My listening lately have mostly been to Swedish documentary podcasts. But for those of you who are curious:

P3 Dokumentär about the Unabomber.

P3 ID about King Charles III.

Gaming:

We've just started playing a new boardgame called Gloomhaven, and wow...

You know how excited I was about Nemesis, but I'm possibly even more excited about this game. Not surprisingly, since it's been voted "best boardgame" for many years now.

Gloomhaven is a classic, fantasy role playing board game where players choose a character and co-operate to complete missions, slay monsters, level up, and advance further in the world/story. And it really feels like a table top version of games like Baldur's Gate. Except, we play it at our kitchen table:

It's the highlight of our day when we get to sit down here, light some candles, put on some immersive background ambience and complete a scenario in the story.

This game was surprisingly easy to get into, despite being a big and fairly complex game. So if you want something fun and relaxing to do with friends or family, that's not in front of a screen, that's immersive and co-operative and story-driven, this is it. Give this one a try. We're playing the Jaws of the Lion expansion, which is more friendly to beginners and new players.

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