How to love the blank page

Thoughts on wrapping up a painting collection, becoming a more fearless artist, and the calming effect of snow.

Well hello there. How nice to be in your inbox once again. 🖤

I hope you're having a pleasant November. Mine sure is, at least lately. You might recall from my previous letter how I boldly asked for more snow, with the added request that it come AFTER we'd had a chance to change our tires.

Well, the snow ignored that last part and fell anyways. Lots and lots of it, causing chaos all over the country as per usual. Luckily, my partner is a skilled driver and managed to get into town to change those tires anyways. So now, we can relax and enjoy winter.

As soon as that snow came, I was filled with a peace I've been longing for since summer. A permission to rest and go inward. Yesterday, I finished work early and just read for like 6 hours. Haven't been able to do that in ages due to pain or restlessness. And I'm sleeping better than I have in a long while. Winter is vacation season for a highly sensitive introvert like me, much more so than summer. Anyone else feel the same way?

Soooo... That barn owl I showed you the sketch for last week? I totally messed it up. 😂 Was feeling sooo stiff and out of practice with my watercolors. Felt like I used my tissue papers more than my brushes. Eventually, after about an hour of fiddling and frustration, I gave up on it. In fact, I declared the whole collection complete. I've been working on Birds In Flight for many months now, trudging away at it long after my initial inspiration had passed. It's not that I don't love painting birds, or won't paint lots more of them. I'm just not in that frame of mind right now. And so it felt really good to wrap this collection up. I have 12 finished pieces that I'm proud of, and spent this week photographing them, editing the photos and preparing the print collection for launch.

Out with the old, in with the new... Itching to fill these walls again.

I won't be putting the originals up for sale this time, and that also feels like a relief. Shipping is always a headache for me, and a hundredfold so when it's a one-of-a-kind piece of art that I might be feeling a bit attached to, but have to put into the careless hands of international postal services, hoping and praying that it eventually reaches its destination in one piece. 😅

Offering prints is cheaper for the customer, less scary for me, and more convenient for both of us *. I've decided to go with a print-on-demand service called Printful this time, since I've heard good things about it, and there's a neat integration for it in my Squarespace website. So far, it's working out really well. Still haven't figured everything out in terms of shipping and taxes, but I'm hoping to release this print collection next week. So that those who are feeling inclined might get their orders before Christmas.

* I might still sell some original paintings every once in a while, but I'm thinking it will be more small-scale and upon request. Feels more appropriate, when you're handing someone one of your babies...

A teaser of what's to come…

Now, let's continue the theme of the past two weeks: fear of the blank page.

Thank you so much for all the comments on my previous letter, where you shared your reasons for fearing the blank page, or not feeling like practicing your craft. I applaud your vulnerability and honesty. I relate to so much of what you've written. And, as promised, this week's video will address all or most of these reasons.

I have to say, I'm especially pleased with this one. It's one of those videos where I'm talking just as much to myself as to someone else. Even though I have these techniques, it doesn't mean I remember to use them all the time. Far from it. So I need to hear this as well, regularly. It's the best possible pep-talk I could muster up, and I'm beyond excited to put it out into the world today.

I have five primary tools to deal with my own fear of the blank page. Some of them are questions I ask myself, either in my head or on the journal page. Others are modifications I make to my practice. What tool I use depends on what my particular flavor of art block is that day. 😊 And like I say in the video, it's crazy effective. As long as there's a strong will to overcome the fear and blocks I'm having, these tools work every time for me.

With that said, there are times when we might not even WANT to overcome our art block. We're feeling exhausted, stressed out, depressed, or just not in that frame of mind at all. The best course of action then, in my opinion, is to step away and take a break. I know it's taboo to even say it in the hustle culture we live in, but we can't brute force our way through everything, all the time. There's a time for "overcoming", but there's also a time for letting go. And distinguishing between the two can be difficult.

I'm at that place right now with my fiction writing. I'm feeling blocked around it, in a way I might have tried to overcome before. But now, I've chosen to go with the flow, knowing that there will come a time soon when I am feeling motivated to overcome those blocks. I have the tools I need when that time comes. But for now, I'm allowing myself the luxury of not writing.

I once wrote a counterintuitive and pretty controversial article about writer's block that I've been on the fence about re-publishing. Partly because it's not really my voice anymore. And partly because it might ruffle a few feathers. But now I'm thinking "why the hell not." It might piss some people off, but it might really help a few other people. It's a risk I'm willing to take. So I just put it up on my website here, if you're curious. And I would love to know: did it offend you or help you? 😜

Now, let's part ways and enjoy our weekend, shall we? My plans are to do my rehab exercises, take a long bath, read on the couch, and play Gloomhaven with my partner. Tomorrow, I'm going to indulge in some zero-expectations, happy-fun-time charcoal painting. And on Sunday, I'm off to visit my brother's and celebrate 1st Advent with my family. My body is ready for 5 weeks of mulled wine, saffron buns and ginger bread. 😌

With love,

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New video: How to overcome fear of the blank page (5 things that REALLY work)

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Reading:

Just started my second read-through of Why Buddhism is True, by Robert Wright. One of those books that have changed my life. I'm a sporadic, but fairly experienced meditator who have read a LOT of books about meditation, mindfulness and eastern spirituality. But somehow, this book, written by a journalist with self-professed ADHD and anger management issues, is the best of all of them. Instead of dry facts and the same, tired meditation instructions we've heard a hundred times, Robert Wright's book is filled with funny and very relatable anecdotes, and existential philosophy explained in the most down-to-earth way possible. It focuses not on how to meditate (because that really is disappointingly easy) but why. And that's the interesting part.

If you're only going to read one book about meditation, let it be this one.

I'm also devouring The Year of the Witching, by Alexis Henderson, and it's right up my alley. She's gotten herself a new fan here. And I was over the moon when I discovered that she also has a Substack! AND it's filled with watch-, play-, and read recommendations, yaaaay!

Watching:

I love it when Alpay Efe "roasts" his followers' art. He always does it with respect and humor, while still keeping it educational. It's a great way to understand how an experienced artist thinks and makes decisions, and also think about your own preferences and opinions.

Listening:

I've picked up listening to Creepypodden again, after a few years off. This is a very popular, Swedish podcast with narrated stories, or "creepy pastas" as they're called, sourced from the internet. I used to listen to this podcast in bed, to fall asleep to. Which might seem weird, since most of these stories come from a creepy pasta sub-Reddit called "No Sleep". Oh well, works for me. 😂

Nowadays, I no longer bring my phone into my bedroom, but I enjoy listening while I walk or cook or drive. And I've grown a bit tired of only listening to educational stuff, intellectual discussions or serious documentaries. I crave some good old-fashioned scary stories. 😌

This podcast is in Swedish, but there are plenty of English speaking versions. Like the No Sleep Podcast:

Gaming:

Gloomhaven, Gloomhaven, more Gloomhaven, and oh, that's right, some Gloomhaven as well. (We're obsessed.)

I've also picked up Divinity II again, after a year-long break. Eventually managed to re-orient myself after the initial confusion of jumping into an old save file. You know, where you have no idea where you are, what all of these buttons do, and what you're even supposed to do, and looking at the quest log only makes you more confused. 😅

But now I'm back into it. Divinity II is a critically acclaimed role playing game in the style of Baldur's Gate and Planescape Torment. With lots of story, character development and turn-based battles. Perfect for cold, cozy winter nights. 👌🏻

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