I might need to rest for a while...
Hi friend 🖤
It's been a while since we last spoke. I've been publishing some other things since then, but not a letter like this since the beginning of March. And honestly, I've missed it.
How is spring in your part of the world?
Here, it's all over the place. Sun, warmth, and birdsong one week, snowstorm the next. In other words, a regular Swedish spring.
Time for some real talk: I haven't been feeling very well lately. Not in my body and not in my mind. Pretty sure it's hormonal, and I'm well on my way to get it sorted out. But it has taken up a lot of my time and headspace. And most importantly, stolen away all inspiration to write or create. I feel apathetic and emotionally fragile. My brain doesn't work properly. I can't focus, and can't handle the pressure to deliver something each week.
In short, I'm probably experiencing some burnout. I recognize the feelings a lot from my previous burnout, back in 2020. And I know that the sooner I take all pressure off myself, the quicker I can begin to recover and regain my motivation and inspiration.
So I'm going to focus on resting, feeling better, and getting my shit together. Take lots of walks outside, do crossword puzzles, read books, do yinyoga, and work on my novel.
Don't worry, I'm not going anywhere. 😊 I'll still write to you, although maybe not as regularly for a while.
As a paid subscriber, you need to decide for yourself if you want to keep supporting me. Feel free to cancel your paid subscription. I don't want to feel like I'm disappointing anyone right now.
We'll see when you hear from me again. Until then, I hope you are well. Take care of yourself. 🖤
With love,
Some favorite things:
Watership Down was my obsession as a child, and I have a very soft spot for rabbits. No wonder this essay by Erik Hoel moved me to tears:
Emma Gannon, on what burnout feels like and how to recover:
”During my burnout period, I couldn’t look at screens for a while. Things felt blurry and I knew my brain needed a proper rest. I am grateful for my burnout now. It was my body telling me to S T O P and it wasn’t playing around. I needed less. Less to do. Less to read. Less input. Less stimuli. Less acquaintances. Less contact. Less followers (which is why I love Substack over social media, for example.) Modern life is overwhelming and no one is going to come and save us. We have to take matters into our own hands, and know our limits. Unsubscribe. Delete apps. Monitor screen-time. It’s annoying, but in a word of endless distraction/capitalism, having good boundaries is what will bring us back to ourselves.”
Who gets to decide what "good writing" is? Should it be an invisible conveyor of the story, or a stylistic art form? Great essay over at Counter Craft:
Oh and have you seen this? Apparently, there's software now to protect our art from being stolen and appropriated by AIs.
Hi back, friend. I think spring, even as teasing as it can be, is a good time (really, any time is) to just be with oneself in what ever ways one deems as best. I, too, have been intentionally not challenging myself as much as I normally do and just soaking in the movements and songs of the birds returning and looking for any evidence I can find of newness in Nature. Living in the northeastern part of the USA (New England), spring arrives slowly. I love that about living here because it helps me to pause, linger with, relish, appreciate, and love it with my whole being day after day.
My heartfelt wish is for you to do whatever you need to feel at peace, healthy, and whole. As your friend from a very long way away, that is exactly what I hope you will do. You sharing that you will be paying attention to what you need to do to live with tranquility and balance soothes me and lifts my spirit. Thank you for being an example and encouragement for me as I journey on my own path.
Hi Louise! 🖤 Spring is my favorite season because it symbolizes rebirth, and also because there are flowers everywhere, it smells fresh, the wind is gentle again, and color comes back to nature, and to life in general. Each season has its magic and charm, but Spring is special like that.
I'm sorry you are not feeling well and I hope you will find ways to get back to yourself. I'll remain a subscriber for as long as I can still afford it because I appreciate you as a person and as an artist, and I understand better than anyone that creativity can't be forced on a schedule. Modern life is incredibly pressuring (is that even a word haha) and terrifying, so you don't need added pressures from us. Take your time, do what's best for you, and know that somewhere in the world someone is rooting for you and sends you (and all your loved ones) good thoughts. Thank you for everything you are giving us! Big virtual hug ✨