Turning envy into awe
Thoughts on role models, art-envy, and being an artist-taught artist.
Well hi again. 👋🏻
Here in our garden, the trees are golden, the lawn is filling up with leaves, and October is at its most beautiful. This past week, the night frost has arrived, along with the mice in the attic. My body hasn't adapted to the weather yet, so I'm cold all the time. Ironically, cold showers really help with that. I'm slowly easing myself back into that routine again, after summer. (When I took hot showers instead, to adapt to the warm weather. 😅) Seriously, if you haven't tried cold shower therapy... I know it sounds like needless torture, (and it kind of is at first), but you get used to it quickly. And then it's a narcotic. One that’s natural, healthy and free. (There are way too few of those in my opinion.)
This week, I finished up a video that I've been wanting to make for over a year. One where I show some of my favorite artists and art role models. I've procrastinated on this video for so long because I have so many favorite artists and I knew I would want to talk about all of them and end up with three hours of footage that would take weeks to edit.
Didn't turn out quite as bad, but it was an extra time consuming video and I'm so excited to finally release it today. Feels really good to spread the love and give thanks to these people. I consider them not just fellow artists and youtubers, but also my tutors and mentors. (Unbeknownst to them, mwahahaha...)
Observing and imitating other artists is how I've learned most of my skills. Sure, I've taken a few courses and classes from some of them. But you can learn so much for free, just by studying someone's work, copying it, and integrating some of their techniques into your own.
When I started out on this path some two years ago now, I felt more or less clueless around art. I didn't know any fancy jargon, had a very limited knowledge of old masters and famous works, and was just insecure as an artist. I didn't even feel deserving to call myself that. When I saw the work artists posted on social media, I became jealous and depressed. I felt like they were lightyears ahead of me, on a level I would never reach. And what was the point, anyways, if I could not have their particular style?
I view things differently now, with a little bit of experience under my wings. One of the first things I did as I decided to take this new career seriously was to shift my mindset. Away from depression, comparison and envy, and towards humbleness and curiosity. Away from the product and towards the process. As soon as I gave myself permission to pursue art for my own sake, at my own pace, and without need to "compete" with the rest of the world, everything changed. I began to take pleasure in being an amateur, a beginner, a student. I actively pursued new artists to be inspired by, and started feverishly collecting everything that inspired me on Instagram and Pinterest. I learned how to look at art, how to pick it apart, how to explain why I liked or disliked it. I shamelessly copied (or tried to copy) my favorite artists' work. And even though my own art was nowhere near where I wanted it, I felt at peace knowing that I was simply on the path. I was in the trenches practicing, instead of scrolling Instagram from my couch and feeling jealous. 🙄
Now, I can look at my favorite artists' work and feel awe. I can more fully appreciate what they're doing, and be moved by it. I can identify the parts I love, and save them to my internal "to borrow" folder. I'm joking in this video that I'm equal parts inspired and intimidated by these artists, which is true. The difference now is that I can laugh about my feelings of inferiority and turn them into action. When I see someone doing something that I would love to be able to do, I know it's just a matter of observing, imitating, and practicing. That's how they got to where they are, and that's how we all grow as creatives.
Then there are the artists on YouTube, who generously teach their skills for free, and without whom I wouldn't have started my own channel. It was watching the Proko and Art Prof Youtube channels that helped me structure my practice and learn the fundamentals. It was thanks to channels like Chris Hong's and Arleesha Yetzer's that I realized that I can have fun making videos even as a camera shy introvert. And thanks to Arleesha's videos on how she makes money as an artist, (this and this), I figured out what I wanted my own art business to look like.
I'm deeply indebted to all of these people, and many more. More than I could ever mention in a single sitting. I had to limit myself if the video was to ever come out. But maybe I'll make another one in the future, or several of them.
Who are your art role models? I would love to get new recommendations. Use the comment function below and add some of your favorites, and we can have a sharing session. 😊
Artwise, things are still going slow due to various aches and pains. But I'm working on a couple of watercolor crows for my collection that I'll finish tomorrow. They're sketched up and ready and have been on my desk since last weekend, waiting to be colorized...
I'm hoping for a relaxing, pain-free weekend. Hopefully I'll get back to reading again, and not just playing video games. Although there will probably be a bit of that as well. Still haven't finished Death's Door. I'm anxious. Don't want it to end. Don't want to get my ass kicked by the final boss. Oh well. All things must end. That's kind of the whole message of the game.
Hope you'll have a relaxing weekend, and I'll see ya next Friday. 🖤
Love,
New video: A guided tour of my favorite artists & art youtubers
Reading:
Barely done any reading this week, other than the countless articles about physical therapy, mobility, pain relief, et.c. So boring. 🙄
But I recently found out that my favorite horror author, John Ajvide Lindqvist, is apparently releasing a new book next week. (!) And apparently, it’s the first novel in a crime series. (!!) All of this caught me by surprise, and now it’s like Christmas is coming early this year.
Watching:
On the topic of career stress, performance anxiety, and comparing yourself to others: Why You Don't Need to Be Exceptional, by The School of Life:
This channel (and app) has become like a therapist to me. Sooo many great videos, on a wide variety of topics. I recommend you check out their whole channel. You’re pretty much guaranteed to find some little nugget of wisdom to ease your suffering.
And on the topic of watercolor, I enjoyed this video by Matthew White:
I've made much of the same observations myself while looking at the watercolor art I'm impressed by. Especially the "leave some mystery" advice is something I struggle a lot with. 😅
Listening:
My current favorite ambience to read & relax to:
Another great and relatable letter! The well known quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy” could not be more true, but it can still be so hard to turn off that part of us. Like you’ve said, I think the trick is to turn the envy into inspiration to learn from instead fuel to wallow in.
I’m inspired by so many people, but I’d love to give my shoutout to Aaron Blaise. While I was considering getting into art seriously, I followed one of his turtorials and was left amazed at what I managed to achieve. I know it may sound silly, but it left me feeling like someone gave me a big pat on the back and said “See you able capable of learning this stuff!” and that empowered me so much.
I ended up finding my own different style from his, but I still love his work and finding ways to use what I’ve learned from his lessons in my own way.
I really appreciate this post. I often feel that jealousy and then depression when I see others doing what I would like to do. I really like how you reframed this and I think I can put your mindset to good use. Thanks for sharing this.